How long to move on after breakup reddit. And a similar breakup.

How long to move on after breakup reddit This is what is preventing me from moving forward because I keep thinking that if she could just see that our break up was due to a misunderstanding, a simple mistake, it would be okay again. (Occasional talk about the ex is fine, especially if the breakup is relatively recent, but I don't want it to be the main topic of conversation. The first break ups were quite easy to handle for me but my last break up (almost 1 1/2 years ago) is still challenging at some days. Someone new will come along and eventually they will awaken those feelings of familiarity, love and comfort that you felt with a previous partner. 5 months relationship, and I’m hurting more than ever. You lose weight. How… how long it takes me to get over has always depended on how long i latch onto the next person. I’m now going to the gym and focusing more on the last of my studies and I feel good. Get rid of pictures etc or at least put them all away somewhere until you are ready to 3. Aug 24, 2024 · Alot of people who rush into a relationship after a breakup are just gaslit and infatuated. He talked about getting engaged. After the break up I worked a lot on my communication skills and trying to open up more via coaching and allowing myself to get out of my comfort zone. The day i broke up with him I felt so free. 20 votes, 21 comments. like move on MOVE ON. So even after a break up, I won't consider another relationship for at least 6 months. We established that we want to be friends after, and actually discussed to some length the prospect of trying again some day – she wanted to break up because we weren't going anywhere and had been trying to pick the relationship month after month, probably around a year. 5 years after my break-up (having a bit of a dip). The first two days were super slow, but a month passed by now and I moved on quick as I realized I never want to feel the way I felt for the past year I've been in a relationship. Long-term relationships mean you've molded your life around another person’s. Literally couldn’t make myself go out tonight, but then I’ve had a very stressful week. As much as it absolutely SUCKS to sit in your feelings, it's important for processing so you can genuinely heal and move forward. I initiated a breakup of a long term girlfriend 5+ years. Having another relationship or a "rebound" not counted. Find an escape route, and ghost. Im currently in the process of moving out next month good riddance. I feel you. Went through a breakup last year and while you can find ways to cope during the grieving process, I don't really think you can necessarily speed it up. Hehehehe yes I also learned about attachment styles after this terrible break up two months ago. It was a “good breakup” like we still have feelings for each other but know it wouldn’t work out. Before break-up, during break-up, years afterbreak-up. I think it was because that breakup was pretty traumatizing for me. I've only ever experienced two other breakups in my life. According to de Llano, common thoughts at this stage include: “That was a time in my life that has run its course. So the only way to get out is to be honest with her and break up, and set the expectation that she is to leave the apartment, or break up and move in with friends or family. No cheating, no messy break up and it was a healthy relationship. I think that's why it took me long to actually move on. Personally it’s been 6 months post break up and my life is incredible, in one month I will buy my first home. We dated for 2. This is the most pain I have… Hey Reddit fam, I’m a 26F who’s been dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions since my breakup with my 27M ex, over 6+ months ago. I had a pretty bad breakup with an ex about 2 1/2 year ago or so. I must say that the relationship had ended long before, as we were fighting, breaking up and making up again and again for months. I don’t know if you’re still active but this post truly helped me. When my first love dumped me after a 4 year relationship I was devastated. As already mentioned, when you're ready. Second online long distance relationship never met them: dated for 2 months. The stages are messed up, come back around for many times, but it gets better. 5 weeks ago, I posted on this subreddit about tips to move on from my ex of 2 years while my country being on lockdown, she started dating someone else 10 days after the breakup, I had 2 breakdowns because of it, but today I feel pity for them and I only focus on myself. and it might be different for you, but I was giving more than I was taking. 1 month and a half ago I ended an almost 4y relationship. Im in this same scenario now we been together for 10 years and still live with each other the main difference is she moved on and is in a relationship with another guy it hurts like hell but after you move out and talk with other girls eventually it will hurt less and less. You can imagine how devastated I felt. I’m listening to empowering break up music by girl bands and it really lifts my spirits. I divorced after a 10 year long marriage and I was over him in less than 6 months. We had plans to move in together. Going to work felt impossible. Not really sure breakup is the correct term but it was a very abrupt ending to a 10+ year friendship. How long did it take you to get to that place? I’m 3 months post BU and it’s gotten a little easier but still have this lingering hope especially when he said “maybe in a year. For the most part, I had moved on from her. Personally It’s been 9 months now, and I still think of him everyday. This was the best move of my life and hands down one of the best decisions I have ever made. Just be sure you do it when ready to move on, or else buy a pair of wading trousers And don't forget self-care! Treat yourself to some TLC – whether it's a long bath, a Netflix binge, or a pint of ice cream (or all three), do whatever makes you feel good. she started saying she want to be celibate and move closer to God which I agreed but she eventually broke up with me . Tears are liquid gold that flow from us. You just need to give yourself more time. Almost magically I was over my ex. That is moving on, meaning being able to live a normal functioning life without the break up dragging me down. I dunno. Long story short, it was an emotional rollercoaster for me After getting out of a long term relationship, you might not be so sure. First he said its a phase and then after 2 months he said he doesnt want to talk to me or have sex or anything. Basically, she started dating ~2ish months after she broke up with her ex, we met, it was amazing, we had a blissful few months. I think people should cry over anything. Each person is different. It can take longer, it can be faster. Some people here are saying it took them years to get over a long term relationship, I hope it doesn’t take that long. I know its different for everyone I just want to know how long it took. 5 year long relationship!). She replaced me after 5-6 weeks and made me out to be the bad guy. I ended up moving after three months. I guess a lack of communication and honesty was what really Howdy. [11] at 26, I used a breakup as a catalyst to move away from that state. Don’t try to rush getting into something new, enjoy your time with Currently going through an 8 year long break up. i’m struggling to move on from a recent breakup. The reason usually depends on how the breakup went down, how the breakup was handled by both parties, and/or who they are as a person and level of emotional maturity. If you are new to Reddit or have never commented here before, you will need to spend some time building comment karma on our sub before you will be allowed to make your own posts. Not actually even knowing the person or their true character. Second breakup was when I was 17, from a 5 month Immediately after the break up. 5 Years and he's the best. Again I used the breakup as a chance to push me to date and make friends in my new city. Carry it in your pocket when you go for a walk or drive. Then - when you think you are ready to move on, toss it into a river and say good-bye, and mean it. They are moving on and I’m fine with it. It will take however long it takes. i can’t accept this breakup either. I can relate with the delayed grief concerning a relationship/breakup. anaging now and am beginning to accept the idea of moving on. Hey. I get it though, it sucks. Feel your feelings of grief though, it's important to get those out as long as there's not spiraling descension into them. He talked about marriage early and we realised we’re compatible in pretty much all values and the future. Cheated on after 6 years though. You drive your friends and family crazy talking about the break up. But I'd have unexpected crying bouts even after many years. My ex broke up with me and she move on with someone else less than a week after break up. Honestly, I'm currently trying to chill up from breaking up with my ex after discovering she was a total manipulative psycho because I manage my emotions poorly, but I want to try my best to give you all some tips about how to move on from a breakup and hopefully, that will make me feel better; maybe I can I keep wondering how long it takes to get over a 5 year relationship? I keep reflecting on past breakups to picture an idea of how long. I’m back to square one, getting no sleep. Til then, I wallow a bit more. A lot of people get right back with eachother after few weeks/months after breakup and then breakup again because they haven’t really thought it through or grown from the situation. In the meantime, make sure to focus on your own personal growth. Grief is tricky. around 6 years to be completely okay to get back to dating again after my break up with my first boyfriend. Most women mentally break up couple of weeks before they physically break up. ” That’s bullshit lol. I would let her know you want to go out on a date with her when she is ready. I was exhausted. I haven’t been through a break up in my 30s before this one. move on and life will get better trust me. We have 4 cats, two lives at his place and the other two at mine. From my perspective, you do what you need to do for yourself after your breakup and prioritize your healing process. But I keep looking for that same emotional connection I had with my now ex. Put all your sadness, regret, and loss into it. For me, after being with someone for that long, the last thing I want to do is get with someone else. Moving on after break up . Because the Sep 6, 2024 · Breaking up is never easy, but there are short- and long-term steps you can take to recover from a breakup so you can move on to healthy, trusting… READ MORE Processing Grief After a Breakup Dec 11, 2024 · Child development experts recommend waiting at least 6 months after breaking up with your fellow parent before dating again. I've envisioned being married to him and even having kids. Didn't eat for 2 weeks, cried myself to sleep for 4 months every single night, didn't have motivation to do nothing, would be curled up in a ball in the bathroom at work and would cry for up to 3 hours, was even with the suicide hotline many times. He has a new relationship since 9 months. I am also going through my first break up after dating for 3 years. Thank you so much for offering such compassionate and insightful guidance on how to navigate through this. Hi everyone, first ever Reddit post. How long has it been for you? I’m 100% not good for anyone right now. Healing isn’t linear… There’s no pattern that the relationship that immediately follows the breakup of a longer term relationship is any more or less likely to be long or short term. a full time job after the breakup and moving to a new city (all while continuing my Hello! My ex recently left me for her ex. I’ve got back to dating after almost a year but after a short dating experience i’m back to being single again. We were set to close the distance but it no longer felt right. So maybe that’s we appear to move on faster. There are still days where I miss them, think about them or wonder how things could have been. My friend was dating almost immediately after she broke off her 10 yr relationship because she was over it a long time ago. It’s over now,” or “I’m moving on. I feel a lot better and I can feel myself getting happier every single day! That being said, I kind of understand that as dumpees get happier the dumper gets sadder as time goes on (especially in NC). thank you so much for taking the time to write this, it has helped me a lot and made me feel i little bit better. I broke up with my long term gf about a month ago. My ex made the decision to move on from our relationship, so what I do with my body became none of his business from the moment he walked away. I have a week long vacation in 4 weeks. it’s hard, but you will get through this. There is no better time for that than after a breakup. 3 months later he moved on and told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore, and that we had to both move on. But hey, I'm still figuring this stuff out too, so I'd love to hear from you all. 4 and a half year relationship ended with a blindsided break up after having a rough month together. Secure people tend to move on faster and more completely because they don’t want someone who doesn’t want them. Since those future expectations are so vivid and hopeful, they actually seem like a reality. Honestly, it took me 2 years to become more honest with myself about the depth of pain the relationship (and breakup) has brought me. 4+ years ended a week ago. Insecurely attached people can find it harder to move on in different ways that may take more time. What is your current situation as far as why the breakup happened, how long ago, what are you feeling/struggling with right now, how attached were/are you, how much contact do you still have with them (in person, over text/call, online), and what are you already doing to take control of your grieving process and move forward? Same thing with my ex broke up with me after 2 years, THE DAY I left to move to his country after saying two weeks before he was feeling unsure and nervous. I always thought about her and after about 6 months is was like damn I wonder how life’s treating her and if she’s doing okay. Reply reply Same. You don’t want to be a quick rebound, you want more. Now 3. He didn't respond to that. Moving too fast after a breakup is not good in the long run. at 31, I again used a breakup as catalyst for moving to two different countries to clear my head. Now I met the love of my life and I am married. I think guys can shut it out for awhile. I felt the exact same feelings when my ex left me after dedicating 5 and a half years to her. None of my female friends ever had a guy “lined up”. After being cheated on I lost a sense of myself, I believed that I was muck. Moving on isn't easy, especially if you still love the person, but there are many tips to help you recover from the heartbreak. We have broke up recently and she started dating and caring for a guy 2 weeks after our breakup (4. I broke-up with him nearly 11 months ago. She was dry eyed. I was lucky to find this article and podcast when you first posted it -- just a week or two after my breakup. I asked him 1000000 times if another girl was the reason, as it seems the only logical explanation to me (our relationship had been near perfect from my view, as obviously I thought it After a break up, it can be important to give yourself space and time to process your emotions and move on. But 2 months after the breakup I hooked up with someone I met off of Tinder and cried all the way home. She was with the guy for 3 years, she needs time to heal. i just can’t accept it at the moment and i can’t move on. With your 1 year break up, you not only grieved what was but also grieved what couldve been. The feelings of hurt are valid, the feelings of doubt in yourself are not. After reading this, I feel a lot better though, I feel like that there’s no point in chasing her or getting her ego bigger than it already is. Since it happened i have been so hard on my self and overthinking everything, its the first time i experienced a pain like this and im trying to learn how to recover but its this days have been so hard and im afraid that i dont get over it. So, I got dumped 3 months ago. up to a year for active break-up grief, up to 5 years for lingering trauma from the grief. Deep down we grew apart during the distance. I'm sorry about what happened. She broke up with me 3 months ago after about 6 months of being together because she felt like she didn't love me romantically anymore. Sep 6, 2024 · Breaking up is never easy, but there are short- and long-term steps you can take to recover from a breakup so you can move on to healthy, trusting… READ MORE Processing Grief After a Breakup Dated my ex for 2. Obviously it doesn’t always go like that, but generally I’ve noticed that women typically move on sooo quickly. My ex can kiss my ass! I took a bit longer . e not ignoring the breakup. Going through an excruciating break up with someone I considered the love of my life. a full time job after the breakup and moving to a new city (all while continuing my Even a relationship break up that was 2 weeks after I was pregnant I was probably upset for about 2 days, burning rage for about another 2, then changed to “oh well” less stress for me having to deal with him. I've met new people, they're great. Let the bridges I burn light my way According to break up specialists, it typically takes 3-6 months to process a break up. My gf of over 4 years just dumped me. . I’d say people often need months not weeks to move on though. she left me at my lowest. I was living alone in a new city just 5 minutes away from my ex (in an apartment that he helped me pick out and move into just 3 weeks prior to breaking up with me), and every time I would drive on the streets I would get a huge pit in my stomach. Feb 20, 2024 · The team discovered this shift by taking a close look at Redditors' posts to Reddit’s r/BreakUps — a forum for and took the longest to move on. Still don't feel ok, worse break up ever. Spend this time focussing on yourself without worrying about him. I still had hope that he will be back because after all i had those amazing 2 months. No regret on the breakup. And after 6 months, it clicked and we started talking more frequently. But he kept pushing me away… no giving me any value. I know it’s gonna take a while still. But you're in a tough postion, where your studies take absolute priority. Try out different hobbies and figure out what helps you! Actually to correct myself, it was actually he came back around after 2 years post break up. You’ve made compromises as well as future plans, and having to let go of that isn’t as simple as swiping left or right. 3 years, everything was okay until the last few weeks to break up. Now sure why I work that way but it seems the best way for me to get over a hard breakup is sex with someone else. It’s not true at all. I just went through a breakup with my partner after a year and a half, 6mo long distance. It’s different for everyone and every relationship. 5 weeks isn’t very long, especially if it’s a trauma bond. I’m pushing myself to heal. Because the However, my life was more permanently altered by the dissolution, at age 22, of a barely 4-month-long relationship, than it was by the termination of a multiple-years-long relationship which came just after it. He disappeared for a couple days then he called and broke up with me. I would say if something falls in your lap take it slow. Some guy asked me out on a date 3 days after my breakup, not knowing about my situation. Exactly the same happened to me. Its a little good bye ceremony i do to heal and move on. We werent NC the first time but we were only together for couple months. I am pretty heart broken but am definitely functional. I guess it depends on the relationship. I lost my gf and job all in span of 7 days and now I ended up getting covid so all I do is think about her. This is the same situation with me. This means taking a break from contact with your ex, and focusing on yourself and your own goals and needs. She reached out 4 months later after no contact and eventually we got back together and met up about a month after we started talking again. Two broken hearts that cares deeply about each other but wasn’t meant to be together. I still thought about my ex. And now? The thought of continuing to live here, as much as I’ve come to love it, is tainted. Not a tear did she shed. It's been 3 months exactly today since the break up and I feel like my life has gotten better compared to the first month of the break up. We have been dating for 2 years and 5 months. It hurt so much to break up with him. Its subjective honestly, depends on how long you were together, reason for the break up, etc For me after a 8ish year relationship about 3 months post break up until I got on dating apps for casual type of things about 6-7 months post break up until I started looking for more serious long term things again 10 votes, 21 comments. Talking to guy I was dating immediately after breakup , I still felt trapped in my pain and sorrow. If you are using a throwaway account for privacy reasons, you will need to message the mod team from your primary account first. 1. Every place is a memory. Everything about work reminded me about the relationship. You obviously don’t have to go into detail but just say something like you’ve recently split from your long term partner and are in the midst of a life transition/moving at the moment and you may need to take some time. If you want to start dating sooner, that’s okay—but consider waiting a while before you introduce any new partners to your kids. My boyfriend(M28) and I(F30) broke up 5 days ago. It takes as long as it needs to take and maybe more. What I find helpful is focusing on myself and staying very active and busy! I started listening to a lot of music and playing more music, which helps me cope whenever I feel overwhelmed. But sometimes I'll have terrible days where I'm feeling self-destructive and stalk them till I see something that hurts or I'll have very lonely days where I miss them. I was single for 5 years in my 20s. Let the sadness run its natural course. Right now i met my ex after 4years of breakup at a wedding, after ignoring her for about 15 minutes she came to me and said hi, i was shocked and all i was doing staring at her she said hi how are you twice i don't know how to write my feelings right now just all those sufferings bqck now after such a long timw Aug 19, 2024 · The breakup was her decision, but was amicable and without animosity. My advice is to let your colleagues know. He said he would fight for me forever, would take years to move on and I’d always be his one. No more sad moments or memories. Whereas with 10 yo break up, you got to experience ‘what couldve been’ and there wasnt a lot left to unfold. I am trying to accept reality as Generally its beneficial to prioritise processing the emotions and thoughts immediately after the breakup, i. First online long distance breakup never met them in person: Dated for 3 months. At the start he maintained it was the worst mistake he’d ever made and I was the love of his life and always would be. it’s like a part of me just hopes and prays that he’s going to tell me one day that Hi there, I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Every girl I’ve ever dated had a new guy within a month or 2 of our breakup, and almost every female friend I have finds a new boyfriend within a month or 2 of a prior relationship’s end. As you work to patch yourself back together after a bad breakup, you might wonder, “How long will this last?” Unfortunately, there’s no definitive answer. It was really tough on both of us and I just want to reach out to her to make sure she’s okay. This can help to prevent you from becoming needy or insecure, which can push your ex further away. I don’t want to be alone another 8 weeks. Hardly communicated needs & issues until it was already done. i’m almost a bit mad at myself for allowing this relationship to go on for over an year because this was the outcome—me heartbroken again and missing him. He lied a lot to me. ” I got a huge job opportunity and I would be making some good money in this tech company but I’d have to move. It's been 5 months now and am learning to do things on my own again and I don't feel totally lost and hopeless. He was my best friend for 6 years and we grew up together. ) Some people have pretty much gone through the grieving process and are ready to move on by the time the relationship officially ends, while others need quite a while after the breakup to deal with it. But you got yourself into this situation, so no one else can get you out. I don't know the context of the breakup, but the best thing to do is think it out. I cant help but think about our memories together when im with my cats. It sucks because they are awesome, but it feels like friends with benefits than a real relationship at this point. I’m at 8 weeks. After 34 years on this planet, and about 7 serious relationships, this was my first real heartbreak. And a similar breakup. With some exes I think that will never disappear and I'm ok with that. I started dating 3 months or so after my recent break up. I've never been like that and if I feel for someone it's deep. Break-ups hold so much grief, and this one in particular has held a mirror up to all of my deepest wounds. My ex and I were dating for 5 1/2 years and it’s been almost a month since he told me he wanted to break up. Mine was confused after love bombing me for first 2 months. Took me a month due to him ghosting me and I broke up with him. Another 3 year relationship, I was over him in a month or so. First one was when I was 16, it wasn't as serious and we ended things amicably after 3 months. 3 weeks after suddenly moving out, my ex tried to breakup over email! I said no way! Not after 6 fucking years together! We met up, and she was as sweet as pie telling me she loved me, she held my arm as we walked in the park, we reminisced and finally she said, "I want to break up with you". Being busy, rationalizing what happened, dissociating from the experience are some of my unhealthy coping mechanisms I did to "move forward"now I learned that these unhealthy coping are my I’m in the same boat as you. 5 months after a break up from a 2. Crying is the healthiest act there is. time, distraction, plans, & self love. Welcome to AskWomenOver30, an inclusive Reddit community where people can ask question to and discuss topics with women over the age of 30. Like, incessant nausea and insomnia to the point where I did not eat or sleep whatsoever for 5 days. So after the break up you stay busy and try to keep you mind off of things. A month after our break up I hooked up with an ex from over 15 years ago (my broken hearted 20 year old self got her final wish) and I felt fine. We met organically and he was all in since day 1, regular communication asking lots of deep questions really seemed interested in me. How could she move on that quick ? A month from the break up she had slept with 4-5 different people at my work and one of them was my close friend at work (you know that really good work buddy that you have the most banter with) whom i had confined about the toxic relationship and the emotional pain that followed the break up. There are no stages and no metric to how short or long this process will be. All are welcome, please read and abide by the rules in our sidebar. I didn’t make a ton of my own new friends out here. Idk I say the how phase is not worth it. I don’t feel romantic love for him now, my heart was broken when I found out he got into a new relationship barely 2 months after we ended, and we were 12 Rules for Moving From a Break-up. and just be together. I met him not too long after I moved here from out of state and he was the person I was closest to, in every sense. Personally, I'm 6 months into my breakup and I have to constantly re-live the "letting go" process a thousand times and in a thousand tiny steps. If she’s really abusive, then just leave. Try to use your freetime to let out your emotions and talk to your loved ones about the breakup. ) They haven’t moved on at all and are just trying to fill the void that was left post-breakup as quickly as possible so as to avoid their feelings. Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months. 2. depends on your mental after the break up - a year could be too soon to some people while a month is just long enough to get into a new relationship Reply reply iusedtobefamous1892 Shortly after the start of my new educational path the breakup happened (it was long overdue but neither of us had the guts). Of course, in a reserved and well-managed way, but it is a wonderful escapism and is even capable of preventing suicide. So unexpected. 5 years and it turned into a messy breakup. But because we haven’t spoken yet, I feel like this wound inside of me will never fully heal. It’s a good reminder when those dark times after a breakup hits. We had some disagreements and arguments about some insignificant conversation over the course of a few days. You neglect yourself, your house, your job (how many hours do we all log on this site while we are at work?). 6 mo after the breakup. But, people have this perceived bias that “rebound relationships don’t last”, which becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m hoping I feel healed after that. I did meet someone after 2. People recover from grief at different paces, for one. After losing my job, I decided to embark on a full-time travel adventure to clear my head. Me and my current partner became friends bc of similar humor and interests but no intentions to start something. Follow this post and do go through that self-hate/hope phase. Some people are able to move on and build resilience very quickly, and some people never move on. It’s ok to cry, mourn, grieve all the losses. Since I was devastated after break up I took some time off work and ended up losing my job and didn’t pass my probation. We've been together since high school. Hello! My ex recently left me for her ex. Being able to date others. TL;DR: My first serious, long term relationship ended a week ago and I'm feeling that overwhelming urge to fill the void. I had the same issues. Work out, get a degree or higher paying job, save for a house, hang with friends (this really helps), learn a language, move towns/cities or go on a short holiday, get a spa treatment, change hair and outfits. I was moping a long time and then I finally went out and got laid one day. I realized the relationship numbed me months before I broke up, so right after the break up I felt relieved. I would die to know what my female ex is going through right now. I was obviously heartbroken and depressed but you need to keep moving forward and work towards improvement. Absolutely devastated. No contact helps a lot. I’m 4 months post BU, 2 months NC after 2 months of very low contact, mostly logistics ( shared furniture, all my things ) We lived together. I'm going through my own breakup after 4 years. What are your best tips for moving on after a breakup? Let's help each other out. The comunication and conflict resolution sucked from the start, but he had many days when he was caring and putting me on a piedestal. After getting out of a long term relationship, you might not be so sure. I don’t miss the person I was back then. Feb 9, 2024 · Being open to moving on: The idea of moving on may have been unimaginable when you first broke up, but now you feel more ready for it. Just found my way to this post today- around 1. It's been a tough ride, to say the least. In my case, almost 19 mo post break-up I can’t say I am over my ex entirely, i miss him daily and I miss what we had. kzbikcp dgfue kgat ftdbud cktljh ldza tcay hpybxv lhxffwx ajtvqtkl lgfaar atdp wwuare ouxz cmjjd